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The Onion Touts Talking Credit Card as Future of Industry


WASHINGTON — The futuristic advances in the payments world are cause for excitement. But mobile technology is just the beginning.

A mock news story this past week from the satirical paper The Onion imagines a new talking credit-card product that encourages consumer purchases with the power of the human voice.

The pretend product, "Visa Voice", is "a new line of talking credit cards that urges shoppers to just go ahead and buy it if that's what they really want," the fake paper said. "'Whenever you're near an item you're hesitant to purchase, Visa Voice offers words of encouragement, such as "Come on, just go for it!" and "Trust me—you're not gonna regret this," Visa president John Partridge said of the groundbreaking new payment product, which allows users to select between a calm, supportive female voice and a morally authoritative male voice.'"

If the consumer does not act in 30 seconds, the story said, the card starts to whisper, "'You know you want it,' which is repeated "a bit louder each time" until buyers "have received the verbal reassurance" they need.

"Partridge added that if customers exceed their credit limit, the card falls silent and quickly changes the subject."



Root, Root, Root for the Hometown Bank

Spring is here, making it a good time to review banks' wide-ranging marketing efforts at all levels of baseball, from the majors to college.

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