Everything You Need To Know About 05, In Couplets

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And so another year concludes and again I have to say,

I don't know where it went as I'm still planning for Y2K,

It ended as it began with another version of the same old con,

That's why it's called a conversion; and it's too late when the truth doth dawn

Two-thousand-five got underway with Community CU in Plano

Announcing its "success" meant it could no longer remain the same-o,

The soon-to-be-millionaire board and execs really deserve a hand,

They got members to surrender their ownership for a measly 20 grand

Two-thousand five drew the curtains closed with news out of Dearborn,

Mich. that DFCU Financial CU is also sowing the conversion corn,

It follows Lake Michigan CU, which in '04 failed to become a bank,

In five years it quintupled in size-not that it has the CU charter to thank

In earlier years CEOs retired to golf and Florida and a hobby,

But anymore it seems even the deceased are expected to stay on to lobby,

In earlier years, too, you used a hook in order to catch a fish,

Now phishes hook members and then some crook cleans their dish

Speaking of fishing the Fishing Hat Bandit got nabbed before getting far,

By a manager who followed and saw him get into the trunk of his car,

And speaking of bandits exploding dye packs led to money in the street,

Anuther was cawt after 4getting to spelchek a chek that wuz counterfeet,

The Bankruptcy Bill returned again aimed at those in a financial mess,

And, frankly, who would know more about that than those in Congress,

Which finally passed the bill credit unions had wanted oh so many years,

And bankruptcy attorneys looked for other work-oh, so many tears

At CU House I talked to Ben Franklin about savings that are lagging,

Betsy Ross was a no-show; I hear her enthusiasm is flagging;

While in the capital I saw a snowfall blanket all of DC,

Yet it was still about a foot short of the snow heard at CUNA's GAC,

By Snow I don't mean the Treasury Secretary, he had some words to say,

Which isn't the same as saying something, but he said them anyway;

This was also the year that Debbie Matz exited the NCUA Board,

It may be the last time a PAL is found among the Washington hoard

In 05 bank profits were exceeded only by the bankers' gall,

One complained CUs were forcing higher rates to be paid to all,

But they topped even that with what sounds like it surely is a hoax,

By filing suit against credit unions for serving too many poor folks

NAFCU entertained with Celine Dion at a meeting in Las Vegas,

The Titanic might have stayed afloat had there been better regs-us,

CUNA introduced a HLPR ("Helper") plan, citing values CUs espouse,

Prhps th grp is prftbl nw bcs t sn't byng mny vwls

And vowels are all so critical now, with e-this, e-that, e-gad!

Now the e is out and the i (Pod) is in, but doesn't it make you mad

To talk to someone but they can't hear you over their ear-buds,

Or to answer someone who's yakking on a Bluetooth, oh fudge

I overheard one person remark after a presentation on CURIA,

That he had spent enough time there during the war, oh mama mia!

The awful tsunami in Sri Lanka left not even one dry eye,

It's been 10 years since Oklahoma City and still the people cry,

The major banks spent big money to keep from being hacked,

Yet breaches occurred again and again as data walked out the back,

Imagine explaining 10 years ago how a CU could get lost in a bog,

because some 13-year old kid somewhere criticized it on his blog

Shared branching continued its spread all across the nation,

But you're not doing business unless you have two-factor authentication,

More CUs reached out to women, because they saw a need-a,

But the women really heard from were Katrina, Wilma and Rita

This was the year that auto lending started changing fast,

from financing the vehicle to financing the gas,

This was also the year CUES had an oxygen bar at one meeting,

I got high on air, which is how I came to write this greeeting

In Washington when Congress called it wasn't for redemption,

rather they demanded evidence related to the tax exemption,

and whether it is still deserved or whether it is obsolete,

CUs in their response showed little quick thinking on their feet

The task for Filene's offspring as we move into two-thousand six,

Will be to demonstrate how those values remain part of the mix,

Because as another year closes many will point to all the change,

and yet the reasons credit unions work have always been the same.

Frank J. Diekman is Editor of the Credit Union Journal.

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