More often than not, remakes of classic American films flop, and Citigroup´s dramatic do-over of The Incredible Shrinking Man may be no exception.

Perhaps in a less heart-wrenching imitation of Grant Williams´ desperate cry, "I still exist!" the bank on Monday announced it will release first-quarter results on April 17. We´re not even halfway through the quarter, and Citi only released last quarter´s results on Jan. 16.

The announcement echoed the move many banks made to get fourth-quarter results out faster. At least four major banks, including Citi, bumped up the release dates of their fourth-quarter numbers.

Citi may simply be trying to lock in a date early, to discourage rivals from selecting the same date. But perhaps the advanced planning is meant to mask the raw, chaotic machinations of banks in survival mode with a patina of calm reliability.

But do the markets really need to be thinking about the next time they´ll get news of massive losses while they´re still grappling with the current round?