WASHINGTON — One of the likely less-appreciated perks of being Federal Reserve Board chairman is that you are a frequent target of The Onion.
During the past two decades, the satirical newspaper has consistently pilloried the nation's top central banker. For years, its shtick was to treat former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan as if he were a rock star, including articles suggesting he was just going to tour small clubs. One in 2007 that had him returning from retirement to "cut interest rates one last time" in front of a packed audience.
Arguably its best article, however, came in 1999. "
While current Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke has been targeted several times by the paper since taking office, the articles have been relatively tame and nowhere near the treatment Greenspan received. Until now.
On Wednesday, The Onion released its latest edition with this as the lead story: "
Far from a rock star, The Onion's version of Bernanke is more like the town drunk, playing "Money for Nothing" over and over on the jukebox while loudly declaring the imminent death of the national economy.
"Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad [expletive] really is," said Bernanke, who was slurring his words, according to the fake newspaper. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the [expletive] for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you."
The article finishes with Bernanke refusing to pay in U.S. currency because it's "worthless," before dancing alone.
